How To Make Friends As An Adult

If you're over 25 you've probably found yourself thinking you could use a few new friends and feeling unsure about how to go about it. Whether you're starting over in a new city, married and looking for couples camping buddies, or slowly outgrowing your couch surfing bros, there's little guidance on how to go from meeting people to becoming friends.

One thing's for sure, it's normal. The older we get the more we rely on our friends, and for some of us they may even be our chosen family. It hurts when life transitions like getting married, having kids, or moving suddenly change established friendships.

But whether it's the sudden snub, the well-intentioned drift apart, or the consciously discussed ending it happens to just about everyone.

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Getting to Yes to Find My No: One Woman's Story About Not Having Kids

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I've decided that I'm not having kids. As with any decision, there are loses. Sometimes I have a pang of sadness but mostly, it feels right.

I was never someone who knew I just wanted kids. In my 20s, when friends would tell me about really feeling the desire to have a family, I'd ask about it. How do you know you want that? How did you figure it out? Inevitably they'd say they had always known or they never really thought about it, or they couldn't imagine life without it. These explanations just left me more muddled.

What was wrong with me that I couldn't feel that? I'd search my own inner world for these signs and come up with a non-feeling, a sense of blankness about it. And this was confusing because I also couldn't connect with the feeling of not wanting kids. It was just...nothing there.

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From Funk to Flow: Reviving Your Soul and Finding Your Passion

Recently, I asked a client who quit a dead end job in order to find her purpose what finding it would feel like. After thinking a moment she lit up and said, “it’s like work doesn’t feel like work, you have things to do but you love doing them and you can feel you’re really good at it. Even when it gets hard sometimes, you know you’re here for a reason. It’s work, but it’s about who you are.”

Sounds like flow to me. And it’s no coincidence that flow happens in connection with creation.

Here’s the reason: to find our purpose we need to connect to our soul. And connecting to our souls is a creative process. By definition it’s non-linear, right brained, mysterious, vague. It involves allowing space to hang out in the unknown for a while, without form and without to-do lists. It involves trust in our human nature, our innate programming to grow and evolve.

For most of us, that’s scary. But there is hope, and there is, ironically, something we can do. Click here to read the full article on Psyched Magazine.

How to Survive Divorce: What You Can Do to Manage Difficult Emotions and Truly Move On

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Divorce is one of the most difficult transitions you’ll ever experience. It’s the big earthquake toppling every major pillar of your life: your primary relationship, finances, home, family, friendships, and your role as a parent.

People are often surprised by how much loss and confusion they experience even when they leave the marriage. If you’ve been left, add to this mix the devastation of rejection.

While you’re working overtime to clean up the rubble and rebuild on the practical front, something deeper is also happening. The emotional ground underneath your feet is full of rifts and is still shaking.

You’ve lost the very structure your life has been built on and your purpose in it. Your vision of a shared future together, the way you thought your life would go, is over. Your identity in the world as a married person is suddenly gone.

At the time I knew nothing about the impact of this deeper process. My divorce was a crisis on a scale that I had never known before. Although the practical arrangements happened fairly quickly, I was left to figure out how to navigate whatever was happening to me emotionally.

Honestly, it scared me and at times nearly overwhelmed me. I went from a person who “kept it together” to a person who couldn’t help not keeping it together.

Click here to read the full article on Psyched Magazine.